Looking after yourself
Supporting a child with additional wellbeing needs can be really tough. It can leave you feeling frustrated, alone, embarrassed, ashamed and a host of other big emotions.
Research shows that if parents and carers can maintain their wellbeing, children will feel better supported and heard, which helps with their recovery.
To look after others, you need to look after yourself. Taking time for emotional and physical care gives you the energy, resilience and compassion to care for your child, helping those around you cope better too.
Advice to help me
Here are some suggestions of ways to look after yourself if you are caring for your child with mental health difficulties. Remember, this time will pass and hold onto hope for you and your family’s future:
This CoRAY resource can may help you have open, honest and empathetic conversations with your child about their mental health. It includes tips for talking about managing change and uncertainty, feeling lonely, feeling bored or unmotivated, feeling anxious about social situations and seeking help
Sharing activities with your children can help refocus on quality family time. Try crafting, going for a walk, watching a TV show you enjoy, cooking together, playing board games, or just taking five minutes to share parts of your day together.
Taking just five minutes to engage in small acts of self-care can make things feel less overwhelming, giving you the time and space you need to sustain yourself, recharge, and protect your mental health. Listening to a favourite song, taking a break for a cup of tea, or texting friends to let them know how you are. Sometimes the small steps make all the difference.
Reach out to family and friends – You might already have friends or family who you feel comfortable opening up to, and who know what you’re going through. If this is the case, these networks can be a really important source of support.
Sometimes, you might just need someone to talk things through or vent with, or to ask for emotional support. On other occasions, you might want to ask friends or family to help you with taking children to appointments, helping with household chores, or other practical tasks.
Sometimes it’s easier to talk to people who are going through the same thing but aren’t connected to your daily life, and peer support can be very validating to know you are not alone. You can connect with other parents and carers by:
- Contacting your local Parent/Carer Forum, a support group run by and for local parents and carers whose children have SEND (Special Educational Needs or Disabilities). You can search for your local group online or use Contact’s directory.
- You could also access peer and group parent support through Parenting Mental Health.
- There are also lots of Facebook or other online groups that focus on parenting and mental health. Try joining groups that are peer led, moderated by admin, interactive, UK based, non-judgemental, supportive and that give safe advice.
- There may also be parent/carer support groups in your local area. This Charlie Waller parent support network can identify if there’s a local parent support group near you.